THEME WEDDINGS – A REFRESHING WAY OF CREATIVE CELEBRATIONS!
Hannah Chong
Business Director, Heaven’s Gift

Traditionally, Chinese banquet or wedding dinner is a norm in any wedding event. Ten course Chinese dinners, three-tier wedding cakes, the first entrée dish and the all time favorite “Yum Seh” ( Chinese toasting sessions) are essentials for any wedding celebrations.

Amazingly, in recent years, wedding celebrations have taken a new phase of development in Singapore. Most of us are marrying later in age, and we look towards to a more innovative and sophisticated way of holding a wedding celebration. We simply want our weddings to be more than a mere ten-course dinner. We desire to create our dream wedding, one that contains our personal touches and one we can proudly share and call our own.

With this new philosophy, theme weddings are birthed. Just like how it is called, theme wedding carries a central theme that is creatively expressed in all the wedding selections. Contrary to many beliefs, not all theme weddings are luxuriously extravagant and elaborate. Theme weddings can be as personalized and intimate as both you and your finance desire.

When deciding the theme for your wedding, take some time to consider the following 3 key pointers:

1. Your Dream Wedding What was that one thing you always dream of having in your wedding? Was it the beautiful rows of red roses that line up the walk way of your march in? Was it a ride on the cruise to an island where you and your bridegroom can celebrate with your guests in privacy? Most of the time, a good and creative theme wedding can be developed from these simple fantasies that you always have about your wedding. Do not be shy to share about them with your wedding specialists, they can be good thoughts for creative themes, but most of all, they are a part of your intimate wedding dreams. And you do not want to miss the chance of making your wedding dream come true.
2. Your Wedding Budget What is your overall wedding budget? How much can you set aside to have some of your dream ideas be developed and deployed? What is the one element you would not consider to replace regardless of the price? Once you have determined a decent budget you can work with, the conceptualization of a theme wedding will come easy. Your wedding specialists will integrate your idea with her recommendations and expertise, and have them delivered within your preferred selections.
3. Your Wedding Guests Who will form the majority of the guests – your elderly relatives, your fun and chilled out friends, or your spontaneous colleagues? How are they like when they gather together in functions? In most weddings, the guests make the difference in the mood of the celebrations. A fun-loving crowd is always spontaneously excited about theme weddings. Once your guests get into the mood of celebrations, you will be amazed how much your guests enjoy themselves in taking an active role in becoming a part of your dream wedding.
   
   
   

WHY A WEDDING COORDINATOR?
Doris M. Nixon
RBC President, Weddings Beautiful Worldwide

At every major event in life professionals are present! A doctor delivers a baby, clergy persons baptize and confirm children, city and school officials preside at graduation, directors take charge of movies and stage productions and licensed persons perform marriages and bury the dead. In each of these events rituals are involved. There is a system for each, carried out by someone trained to do so. With the high cost of weddings and the time involved to pull all the facets together, it is all but impossible for the bride to do this while keeping her daily routine, which is already in overload, intact. Listen to some of the comments made by brides who did not have a wedding coordinator.

“By the day of my wedding I was so overwhelmed by all the things I had to do I was like a zombie. I hardly remember repeating my vows and I never did get anything to eat.”

“There were so many mistakes in my wedding that could have been avoided had I hired a wedding coordinator. I never gave a thought to coordinating the arrival of the vendors, so the cake was delivered before the linens and flowers. After the linens arrived, the cake table was set up and the cake had to be moved a second time. One pillar tilted, so I had a lop-sided cake. We were shorted one bouquet and no one realized it until it was too late for the florist to deliver it. Everyone was running around screaming--or so it seemed--blaming each other. I just stood there crying. All of this could have been avoided had I hired a professional coordinator.” (A coordinator schedules the arrival of vendors--Example: The linens would arrive at 10:00 o’clock, the flowers at 10:30 and the cake at 11:00. Thus the cake table would be set up and decorated before the cake arrived. She would have checked the number of bouquets against the number ordered before the florist left. In a real emergency, she could simply pluck a few flowers from floral arrangements and, using tools from her emergency kit, make a bouquet.)

“I forgot my garter. I had really looked forward to having Dan toss it to his best man, hoping that catching the bouquet would cause him to propose to my best friend, Cindy, who was my maid-of-honor. Imagine her disappointment and my embarrassment.” (A coordinator always has a spare garter in her emergency kit.)

“We forgot the Guest Registry Book so we have no record of those who shared our beautiful day. How sad, especially so since it was the last time my grandmother signed her name. She died the next week.” (A professional coordinator has a checklist, which she uses to be sure everything arrives and is set up. Some even carry an extra Registry Book.)

By now you get the picture. A coordinator is trained to plan, coordinate every minute detail and oversee all of it!

Are coordinators expensive?

Some brides feel a coordinator is too expensive. Compared to what? The gown? The reception? The band? Overall, the money spent for a coordinator is a small percentage of the wedding budget, which is where the coordinator begins before she offers any suggestions. Many times she can actually save you money because she knows the “going” price. Frequently she can negotiate prices. The following is a true story--a telephone conversation I overheard while in the office of a Certified Wedding Specialist.

CWS: “No, my client will not pay $2.50 per head for that hors d’oeuvre.” Hotel: “That family has ‘old’ money. They can afford it.” CWS: “That’s not the point. The fact is your hors d’oeuvres are not worth $2.50 each.”

The coordinator got the hors d’oeuvres for $1.50 each, saving her client $450.00 on that particular hors d’oeuvre.

At another wedding, the coordinator was able to negotiate the price of golf game for the men in the wedding party by pointing out to the reception facility manager that the bride was having the rehearsal, the wedding and the reception at the one facility. When her request for a lower price for golf was denied, she turned to the bride’s mother and said, "Perhaps you should consider having the rehearsal dinner at another site since it’s obvious your business is not appreciated.” A consultation between members of the hotel staff brought the price of the golf game down quite a bit. Because a wedding coordinator brings repeat business to a facility, she often has negotiating power not available to an individual scheduling a one-time event.

Do wedding coordinators get a “kick-back” from vendors?

Although many vendors do offer coordinators a percentage for any wedding they book with them, a professional coordinator will not take it. Instead, she will reply to the vendor, "That is so nice of you but I am paid by my client. Would you agree to offer my bride a discount?” Thus the professional coordinator is working every way she can to save her client money.

As important as it is to save money, the major advantage of hiring a coordinator is the time she saves you. She does the legwork for you, always working within your parameter. She does not dictate to you, but she does offer you options. The pressure of contacting the church, the reception site, the caterer, the florist, the musicians, the photographer, the videographer, the soloist, your attendants, his family, your family, the hair stylist, writing thank-you notes, etc. is overwhelming. Add to that the big day itself, and the thousand and one last minute details that take place then, and you begin to realize what a task it is to plan a wedding.

Now let’s take a look at some actual wedding day scenes.

“The mother of the bride forgot to change shoes and just before the coordinator sent her down the aisle the coordinator noticed the bedroom shoes. Quickly she determined that the mother of the bride wore size 8½. Slipping off her own size 8 shoes, the mother entered the church, feet pinched a bit, but the perfect picture of a Mother-of-the-Bride!”

“The small country church did not have an organ but the bride was determined to enter the church with great fanfare. She secured her own taped music and operator. When the time came for her to walk down the aisle, majestic music filled the air, then stopped, started and stopped again. The tape was defective! There was silence and more silence. Not knowing what to do, the person operating the tape recorder decided not to try again. The quick thinking wedding coordinator walked about half way down the aisle and began humming the wedding march, encouraging the audience to join her. Soon the sanctuary was filled with music--not what the bride expected, but something entirely different. Misty-eyed, she walked down the aisle and later declared it to be the most romantic moment of the wedding.”

“The groom had a red bandanna handkerchief in his back pocket. Spying it before he walked in, this coordinator now checks the pockets of all the men in the wedding party.”

“When the bride chooses her colors, I check the underskirts of the tablecloths with the ink color on the placecards to be sure they harmonize. What a difference it makes when the colors are coordinated”, says one coordinator.

“At a garden wedding on a small island, I decorated the bridge with clamp-on light posts and connected each post with tulle, fern and baby’s breath. It was breathtaking!” states another coordinator.

“I share this idea with brides who are getting married in a temple or cathedral that is very colorful and ornate. “Why not have the attendants dressed in white and use gold or silver as an accent in the bouquets? An all white wedding is beautiful and does not compete with, but rather complements, the colorful surroundings.”

“The baker dropped the wedding cake on the front steps of the reception hall. We went to a nearby market and bought 200 Twinkies, tied thirty together with gold ribbon, and stacked them in three tiers. Flowers were added and all the guests admired the “different” wedding cake!”

“If the bride’s mother is very controlling and there is a conflict, I ask, ‘Is it more important to have the final decision or for your daughter to be happy on the most important day of her life?’ This puts the situation in perspective and usually we are able to arrive at a happy medium.”

“I like adding cultural costumes to a wedding. At one Afro-American wedding I coordinated, the bride and groom wore white outfits with gold trim. Colors for the attendants were black and gold and all wore sandals. It was beautiful.”

“When I coordinate a wedding and the bridesmaids differ tremendously in size and/or age, I suggest that the bride choose her colors and then ask each attendant to select a style that flatters her size and personality in the designated color. The length of the sleeves and hemline is predetermined. Everyone looks better and everyone is happy!”

Every bride-to-be attends pre-wedding parties, the bridesmaids’ luncheon, and the rehearsal dinner--maybe even a wedding breakfast. Think about adding those to your already over-booked, over-worked and over-whelming schedule and you begin to understand why tempers flare, smiles vanish and tears flow. No one enjoys anything; they are too busy “doing.” A wedding coordinator frees your time, and handles the stress. Then you are free to relax and savor every moment of the entire event. A professional wedding coordinator has been trained to handle the unusual. For example, if a coordinator is directing a wedding in California, she will have a flashlight with her just in case there is an earthquake. She can direct the evacuation! On the East Coast that’s unheard of, but the coordinator may be checking the tide schedule just to make sure the boats can dock at your island.

Brides who use trained professional coordinators (yes, she will have a certificate) find them to be their best friends. Those who don’t are often filled with regret!

[Weddings Beautiful Worldwide is a network of independent Certified Wedding Specialists who plan and coordinate weddings around the world.]

HOW DO YOU BUDGET FOR YOUR WEDDING
by Hannah Chong

Budgeting is key to any wedding plan. Without a budget, one will fail to envision what is the depth involved in a wedding. The following percentage is what I called an estimate for a decent wedding in Singapore, and we are referring to an average wedding concept, not one that is lush and extravagant. A decent wedding will also mean you will put aside some money for decor, for weddings details, and not entirely have all yr weddings details been provided complimentary by your venue owner. Often, we love what we see in bridal magazines, those intricate touches and wedding details, but such details are often not provided by hotel or venue owner. So you need to set aside money if you want your wedding to be personalized.

Cost to set asid :

1. Ceremonial Rental & Ceremonial Reception - 2 to 5%
2. Banquet Rental & Banquet Reception - 30 to 50% (the larger the guest list, this will increase)
3. Wines and Special Beverages - 10 to 15 %
4. Wedding Cake -3%
5. Floral & Decor Setup (which may include lightings) -15 to 25%
6. Bridal gown & suit -3 to 5%
7. Makeup artist & Hair Stylist - 2 to 5%
8. Bridal Party Floral Essentials - 3 to 5 %
9. Wedding Stationery (invites, escort and place cards, menu cards etc) -2 to 5%
10. Wedding favours - 2 to 5%
11. Entertainment & Sound system - 5 to 10 %
12. Actual Day Photographer & videographer - 10 to 20%
13. Wedding Planners - 8 to 15%
14. Special corners - if you decide to have Polaroid stations, special candy corner etc - 5%

Other personal costs which we do not consider into a wedding budget, as they can vary and be as large as one desires :

1. Rings
2. Gifts for your bridal party and helpers
3. Honeymoon
4. Overseas guests travel and accommodations
5. Special transport and tour arranged 6. Pre or Post parties The percentage may vary as the size of your guest list varies.. so take time to work out your budget and decide between both you and your partner, which of the above items are priority to you, those will be the one that will be taking the major segment of your final budgets.

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HOW TO CHOOSE A BRIDAL GOWN?

I do not claim to be an expert, but having a passion and working previously in fashion, I think I can share my 2 cents worth.

1. First, buy some bridal magazines, up to date local as well as imported ones. Find out what are the upcoming trends, and look at the gown options, even though majority of the gowns may look good (as the pictures are taken at the right angle with the right model) you will find yourself falling in love with consistent designs that you would like to have for your wedding. I called this your dream gown. My dream gown was very different from what people think I would like. My first dream gown was a low back in a chiffon material, with simple short train, and a spaghetti V-neckline. Now do I look good on that, only later I realized I only look good if I work real hard in toning my tummy and wear a four inch stilettos :) that's why I call this a dream gown...
2. Next, ask yourself, what are your past collections of dresses that look good on you? Was it a empire silhouette, a halter neck with mermaid silhouette, bustier with A-Line silhouette etc. Most of us generally have a good feel about what looks good on us. And go for those selections, because usually it will not go wrong. Even if it may not be your best silhouette, you can rest assured you would not hate it when the designers design such for you.
3. Thirdly, always dare to try something different from your usual collections. For e.g. bustier gown is always safe for most bodies shape, so you may want to try out of the norm -an empire cut with slight tapered waistline. Contrary to many believe that empire cut does not show any figure and may make one looks fat or shapeless... I have seen many women including myself, looking sexy and feminine in such silhouette. Somehow with the right neckline and details, empire silhouette does make many ladies look good. So you never know, you may discover a new silhouette that looks good on you.
4. After you have tried all the above, then ask yourself, what kind of details attract you, embroidery, laces, sequence, or crystals applications. colored details. long or short train/veil etc and share those details to the designer, that will help them to know your preferences better. At the same time, do give your designers the freedom to recommend what they think may look good on you and explore the options together.
5. Finally, learn to go with your heart. I always tell my bride, if after you walk out of the shop, and you don't remember the gown you wore earlier, then none of those gowns is what you want for your wedding. However, if you pondering and thinking about a specific gown, most likely you have begun to fall in love with that gown. With the above tips, it clearly tells you that you don't need to shop for days for a wedding gown, take half a day off, and schedule those boutiques you want to visit, and trust me by the end of the third or fourth shops, you know what you want and it's that simple..
   

HOW TO MAKE TOASTING SPEECHES
by Hannah Chong

In every wedding, I always look forward to hear the toasting speeches, especially the ones from the Father of Bride, or the Father of Groom. They are generally real, spontaneous and touching. Now to some, making a speech can be a daunting moment, when one is not prepared for it, so how to make a good speech, or rather I will say how to make a personal and yet lighthearted one :

Beginning Start
off by introducing yourself, as not everyone in the room will know who you are. You might say "Excuse me everyone, if I could have your attention for a moment. I'd like to take a few moments to say a few words about our bride and groom. I'm Mathew Edwards, Joe's best man and buddy etc". To get the guests' attention, you might insert a quick joke here or a quote about marriage. Before you get too far into your speech, you should thank the people hosting, usually the couple, simply say, "We're all delighted to be here today on this joyous occasion."

Middle
This is where it is good to write down your thoughts before as it will really come in handy. Tell a funny story about the bride and/or groom (note I said "funny" not humiliating!), give your thoughts on love and marriage, tell the story of how they met, or talk about how you've seen them change through their relationship. While you may know the groom better, try to make your toast balanced, speaking about each of them. Try not to talk too long as nobody wants to hear you ramble, but do give some interesting details. At all costs, avoid ex-girlfriend stories and keep it rated PG for kids and grandmothers in the room! Most of all, if you are sincere about what you are saying, and your words come from the heart, it's hard to go wrong.

Closing
It's often good to wrap up your toast with a wish, traditional toast, or blessing for the bride and groom. Raise your glass with a resounding congratulations, cheers, l'chaim or salud, and don't forget to drink to your own toast!

So at the end of the day, remember the speech is a greeting and gift you want to bless the couple. Be cool and steady, always think of the couple as the focus, and hold the audience' ears to enjoy the moment, do not make it a self performance or presentation. And you will certainly not go wrong...